Being There
by katiepwns
Summary: This is an AU family fic full of fluff and cuteness. Rick is helping Kate out with her situation that holds an infant and trauma.
1. Chapter 1

September 21st, 1997:

Another small child was kidnapped from their home. This is the fifth kidnapping in three months and each child's parent works for the N.Y.P.D. The parents consist of detectives and captains. And by the looks of it, these kidnappers are very familiar with kidnapping. We are guessing that they are trying to get back at the police for arresting them.

_..._

Previously, Captain Roy Montgomery's daughter was taken from their home during the night. Her father hasn't released any further information on her whereabouts, but he did mention that they haven't even received a ransom call yet. And by the looks of his eyes, he seemed like he was losing hope in finding her.

_..._

It has been two months since the kidnapping of Roy Montgomery's daughter. It was brought to our attention that they got her back in one piece. All except a few cuts, bruises and trauma, she seems to be okay.

_…._

Kate rewound the disc to replay the news reports. She recorded these off the internet with help from her best friend. This was what she did all night when she wasn't at work, watch these and try not to lose hope. And as always, two hours went by faster than she thought. She turned off her television and walked to her bedroom.

This was the worst part of the end of any day. She told herself not to open the door. Not to lose herself in tears. She sharply inhaled and put her hand on the doorknob. It was a lot colder tonight than it was any night. She took note of this and hoped it meant something.

When she pushed the door open, her eyes were closed. She opened them just enough to see inside and quickly regretted it. How could she not step inside and sit in the rocking chair placed in the corner? She slowly dragged her feet and sat in the chair. The motion of the rocking helped her keep her mind off of crying, but when she picked up the purple monkey off the floor, she lost it.

All her emotions were pouring out through her tears. She couldn't breathe without actually having to remind herself to take small breaths every so often. As her entire body started to get cold, she curled up in the chair with one of the soft multi-colored blankets.

How could she go on like this?

_…._

"Where's Beckett?" Rick asked as he entered the precinct to find his muse not at her desk.

"She called in sick," Ryan answered without looking up from his computer.

"She has never called in sick before," Rick sat down in his normal chair with a frown.

"She rarely does it, but when she does she usually has a good reason," Ryan replied as he walked over to his partner's desk and sat down, "Why the long face?"

"There's nothing to do during the day because Alexis is at school."

"And now your favorite person in the precinct isn't here so you're upset," Ryan nodded as he spoke.

"Basically," Rick responded as he stood up, "Maybe I'll pay her a visit with soup to see if she's okay," he smiled and started to walk away.

"I wouldn't do that, Castle," Ryan got off the desk and walked over to him.

"Why not?"

"There's a lot you don't know about Beckett that happened over the six months that you were gone. Things that you don't know about."

"You're acting like she committed murder or something," Rick let out a forced laugh then put on a straight face. "She didn't kill anyone, did she?"

"No," Ryan smiled. "but I just want you to stay away from this one, okay?"

"Okay," Rick squinted down at Ryan trying to figure out what he was getting at, but failed.

He shrugged it off and walked into the elevator. When the doors closed he smirked a little. He was known for not listening and this was one thing he wasn't going to listen to Ryan about. If Kate was sick then he wanted to show her how much he cared and arrive at her apartment with homemade soup. He also wanted to use this as another apology for leaving longer than just the summer.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I set this one around the beginning of season three, but I'm going to be making almost everything up. xD<em>

_This is the start of a new family fic. I think I already like this one better. :D Feedback would be very much appreciated._


	2. Chapter 2

There were soft knocks coming from the door. Soft knocks that made Kate basically jump off the couch hoping it was Sorenson with good news. She pet down her hair hoping it didn't look too messy and unlocked the door. When she opened it, she was surprised to see Rick standing before her.

"Castle? What're you doing here?"

"I brought you soup," he held up the two bowls.

"Castle…"

"What? I heard you called in sick so I brought you some of my homemade chicken noodle soup," he said with a charming smile.

Kate rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I'm not really sick. I'm having a bad day. Actually more like a bad two weeks. So if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone."

Rick stood with hurt all over his face, but when he saw the sadness in her eyes, he knew she was telling the truth. She didn't want to get rid of him because he was intruding. She really wanted to be alone. And by the looks of it, she really shouldn't be.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked.

"No. I don't."

"Could you at least eat the soup? Please?"

"Fine. You can come in, but once we're done with your soup you're gone."

"Understood," he said with a huge smile.

The moment he walked into her apartment, he instantly became baffled. He saw a baby bouncer seat by the wall, a swing in one of the corners, and a rocking chair with purple and pink blankets over it. He squinted his eyes and went into the kitchen and set the soup down on the counter.

_What the hell is going on here?_ he thought.

He watched Kate take her seat at the table as she put her head in her hands while smoothing her hair back. He was so confused right now, but he searched for bowls and poured the soup in it. When he sat down at the table, he handed her a bowl and spoon.

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked as he took a spoonful of soup.

"You come to my apartment unannounced without giving me the chance to get dressed or even wake up for that matter and you want to ask me a question?"

"I… uh… it's nothing," he frowned and continued to slowly eat his soup.

"Sorry. I'm just so exhausted," she replied when she saw his sad eyes.

Rick decided not to be straightforward and ask why there was a lot of baby stuff. He didn't want to upset her even more.

"Why?"

Kate eyed him suspiciously. She knew he saw her daughter's things. She knew he wanted to ask about it, but he won't. Why?

Just before she could say something, her phone rang. She ran to it as fast as she could and nearly tore the couch apart trying to find it. When she did, she saw it was an unknown number. She looked over at her partner eating his soup like a five year old and answered it.

"Hello?"

"We want $250,000 by midnight or your little darling takes a swim. We will call back with further instructions," a robotic voice replied.

Kate stood with the phone a few inches from her ear. Her daughter was alive, but they were threatening her life. Quickly, she dialed Sorenson's number.

"Kate?"

"They…" she looked over at the table before she ran into the bathroom. "They called for ransom."

"How much?"

"$250,000. How am I supposed to get that much money by midnight?"

"They said midnight?"

"Yes. They also said that they'd call back to tell me where to put it."

"We're on our way."

Kate closed her phone and rested her head on the wall. Her whole life was falling apart and she couldn't keep the pieces together by herself. She closed her eyes as fresh tears made their way out. Fifteen minutes later she heard knocking at the door.

"Are you okay?" Rick asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine," she opened the door to find one of the most caring men she's ever met.

"Are you sure? You've lost a few shades of color since you got the phone call."

"I'm fine," she pushed past him and walked into her living room just as more knocking came from the apartment door.

She nearly ran over to it and opened it. Sorenson and his team came into the apartment and began setting up their equipment.

Rick stood in the middle of the room stunned. This was the same equipment he saw when the little two year old, Angela, was taken from her parents. Suddenly, his eyes went wide. He was right. His partner had a baby. A baby girl. And she was kidnapped.

He watched as Kate paced the room while biting down on her fingernail. Her nervousness made him anxious to ask all the questions he had and now wasn't the time. But he did deserve to know. She's his partner and even more of a friend.

"Kate, what's going on?"

Kate turned her head in the direction of Rick's voice. She brought her arm back to her side and licked her lips. Her personal life wasn't something she really wanted to share with him, but the worry on his face… How could she not?

* * *

><p><em>AN: Slowly getting down to the story behind everything. Slowly. Hope you guys enjoyed it. I always appreciate your feedback and ideas, etc. :}<em>


	3. Chapter 3

"Rick, take a seat," Kate said as she motioned for him to sit down on the couch.

She slowly sat by him and closed her eyes. When she faced him, she opened them.

"As you can tell… I have a daughter."

Rick sat up straight and folded his hands in his lap. This was the most attentive he's been in months.

"She was only five days old when she was… kidnapped. Sorenson and his team think it's the mobsters who have kidnapped many children for ransom and payback."

Kate squirmed in her seat and ran her hand through her hair.

"I don't even know how to describe…" she was cut short from her tears.

Rick, being the kindhearted man he was, reached over and pulled her in for a hug. He was surprised when she didn't pull away which made him hold her tighter.

"I'll do anything to help," he gently said in her ear.

Kate wiped her tears and pulled away to look at him. She shook her head very slowly.

"You can go home."

"Kate, you're upset. Anyone here could see that. They won't help you calm down. They are just trying to find her for you."

"Are you sure you want to stay?"

"I am not going anywhere. If it were Alexis who was kidnapped, would you stay if I wanted you to leave?"

A small smile spread across her lips. He was absolutely right on that. If Alexis were ever kidnapped, she wouldn't leave his side. But one thing bothered her… She didn't want him to get attached to her daughter, seeing he left when she least expected it.

"Okay. You can stay."

Rick smiled at her and held her hand. He gave it a tight squeeze. There was one question that drove him crazy. Who was the father? And just before he could ask, Kate's cellphone began to ring.

She stood up really fast as Sorenson waved her over to the equipment. After the third ring, he gave her a thumbs up and she opened her phone.

"Hello."

"Do you wish to have the directions?" a robotic voice asked.

"Please," she pleaded.

"Bring the money to the left of the Turtle Pond in Central Park before midnight. You must come alone. No cops. No guns. Nobody. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she nearly whispered as she heard the other line hang up.

She turned over to Rick who could tell she was about to have another breakdown. He quickly walked over and held her close. He could feel his shirt getting wet from her tears, but he didn't care. All that mattered to him right now was Kate and getting her little girl back home safe.

Once the tears subsided, Kate looked over at Sorenson.

"Where am I going to get that much money?"

"How much money do you have in the bank?" he asked her.

"Not even half of that."

"How much are they asking for?" Rick asked.

"$250,000 by midnight," Kate answered him as she looked down.

"I can get you the money."

"Rick…"

"Kate, no. I have plenty more than that. And if it means getting your little girl home safe, then I will do it as fast as possible."

"You do-"

Rick held up his hand to stop her from talking.

"I'm doing this whether you want me to or not."

"I'll pay you back."

"No, Kate. I didn't let you pay me back with money you borrowed for a shot at your mother's killer and I won't let you now."

Without thinking, Kate flung herself into his arms. He was being the most caring man she has ever met. She knew he cared about her, but she didn't think it was this much.

"Thank you," she whispered into his ear.

"Anytime."

...

"We have ten minutes," Kate said as she looked at her watch.

She was bouncing her knee nervously. Sitting still wasn't an option and it hasn't been for a couple of weeks. Technically it was only five days, but still, she was apprehensive.

Rick turned the key in the ignition so music would be playing. He insisted that he drove to Central Park because of her nerves. They were waiting for Sorenson's team to set up around the pond. Kate pleaded that they listen to the kidnappers and not show up, but they were undercover acting like normal people on a late night stroll.

"What if they don't give her back?"

"They will. You're placing the bag where they told you. Most likely they will call again to give you your daughter's destination."

Kate slowly nodded as he spoke. He was right. Most kidnappers did this just to make sure they really got the money. But Sorenson said that they will try to follow the person who picks it up and arrest them.

"Okay. It's time," Kate glanced at her partner before getting out of the car.

She rushed onto the walkway and into the direction of the pond. She was being alert hoping she would hear her daughter crying, but it was unlikely that they would let that happen.

When she was several feet from the pond, she saw a bench and walked over to it. She placed the bag of money under it and hesitantly walked away. As she turned left, she saw one of Sorenson's men drinking coffee under a tree. She walked into his direction and sat on a bench near him.

Her elbows rested on her knees while she put her head in her hands. Her phone began to vibrate and it was a text from Rick.

_Two guys that look Italian are making their way over. I'd be out of sight if I were you._

Quickly, she got up and walked past the man to another tree. She leaned up against it and let her head rest.

Sorenson was jogging down the walkway where the bag of money was. He noticed two guys walking towards it and slowed down to a speed walk. He casually passed them and gave them a nod. When he saw that they might take the money out of the corner of his eye, he sped up around the pond so he wouldn't alert them.

Seconds within picking up the bag, one of the guys opened their phone. They okayed their boss on the other line.

Two minutes after walking around, Kate received a call.

"Hello?"

"Thank you for cooperating. Now look up," said the robotic voice.

Kate slowly brought her gaze upward towards the tree she was near. She didn't see anything, but when she turned left, she saw a baby car seat in the next tree.

Her phone dropped out of her hand as her heart rose to her throat. There was no possible way she could get up there because there were no branches low enough to grab onto.

She bent down and scrambled for her phone. When she got it, she quickly called Rick.

"She's in a tree!" she exclaimed.

"On my way," he responded

Rick quickly got out of the car and ran in the direction he remembered her going in. He passed the pond and saw Sorenson chasing down the two men. He stopped in his tracks and looked around for Kate. After several seconds, he saw her near a tree. He ran over and stood by her side.

She slowly pointed up.

"What if she falls?"

"If I boost you up, do you think you can grab it and get her down?"

"We can try," she replied.

Rick bent down and folded his hands so she could step on them. Kate slowly put her foot on his hands and was boosted up. She tried to grab the branch her daughter was on, but it was out of reach.

"Higher," she said.

Rick gritted his teeth and lifted her up higher.

"I won't be able to get her without risking the car seat from falling."

She hopped down from the height she was at.

"Thanks for trying," she smiled at him as she took her phone out and dialed 911.

After she ended the call, Sorenson came running by them.

"FBI, Freeze!" he held his gun at one of the men in front of him.

He nodded for Kate to take his handcuffs and cuff him. Once she did, she pushed him over to Sorenson.

"Thanks," he said.

"My daughter is in the tree," Kate said as she pointed upwards.

"Did you call 911 for a ladder?"

"Yeah."

Sorenson nodded and took the bag off his back. He tossed it to Rick.

"There's your money."

"Where's the other guy that was with him?" Rick pointed his thumb at the shorter Italian man.

"My team already has him and is bringing him to the car. This one took off running so I chased him."

A few seconds later one of Sorenson's teammates came over and took the shorter man. And five minutes after that, the fire department was running over to them.

Kate kept her finger pointing up at the tree.

It took two firefighters to grab the ladder and safely put it against the tree. The female climbed it and took the carrier by the handle. She smiled at the sleeping infant and cautiously came back down. Once both of her foot were on the ground, she handed it over to Kate.

Kate set it down on the ground and moved the handle back. She unbuckled her sleeping daughter and gently lifted her out. Making sure her head wasn't going anywhere, she held her on her chest.

"Hey baby girl. Mommy missed you so much," she said as she rubbed her back and kissed the side of her head.

Rick smiled at the sight he was seeing. This motherly side of his partner was new to him. He liked seeing how gentle and careful she was. He turned towards a bench not too far away and walked over to it. He kept his eyes on Kate as he sat down.

Kate looked around for Rick until she saw him sitting on a bench. She walked over to him and sat down.

"This-," she slowly put her daughter in a cradling position, "-is Alyvia."

Rick slowly turned towards her with a big smile. He looked down at the little baby. She had the perfect amount of hair, a cute little nose and everything. To him, she was the perfect baby.

"She's tiny," he said as he felt her clenched fist.

"Last I knew she was only five pounds seven ounces, but it's been awhile so I'll say maybe eight pounds?"

"Do you want me to give you a ride home?" he asked as he looked up at her.

"If you don't mind…"

"It's no problem."

Kate gave him a gentle smile and got one in return. When he set the car seat in front of her, she carefully set her daughter down and buckled her in. They walked back to her car to be met with Sorenson.

"She's okay?" he asked.

"She's perfect," Kate replied with a smile.

"Have a good one, Kate."

"You too."

With that, she opened the back door and made sure the baby seat was secure. She went into the passenger seat and pulled the keys from the ignition.

"Thank you, Rick. I really owe you."

"No, Kate. You don't owe me anything. Your daughter is safe and that's all that matters."

After a few seconds of silence, Rick started the car again and drove them to her apartment.

"I don't expect to see you tomorrow. So tell me when you go back to the precinct," he said before she got out of the car.

Kate grabbed the carrier out of the back and went to the driver side door. She leaned down and smiled.

"Have a good night. And once again, thank you."

"Always," Rick said as he watched them walk up the steps.

He waited until they were inside before he drove off again. What really bugged him was not knowing who the father was. Being a single mother with a newborn must not be easy. And being Kate Beckett probably didn't help much either.

He thought hard as to who the father could be and when she got pregnant. He remembered seeing a small stomach on her, but he only thought that the fast food was catching up to her. Once he was at a red light, he realized that if anyone knew who the father was, it would be Lanie or her dad.

_Tomorrow_, he told himself. _Tomorrow I'll press for more information_.

* * *

><p><em>AN: So I got the idea of the baby in the tree from Bones. If you see any errors, let me know so I can be sure to fix them. Hope you guys enjoyed it. And feedback would be much appreciated. :)<em>


	4. Chapter 4

It's only been nine hours since Kate's been home and the apartment already looked like a tornado hit. There were bibs and burp cloths all over the couch. Diapers and bottles scattered everywhere. She wasn't quite used to having her baby back in her life and it was tougher than she thought. It was also hard because she wouldn't accept breast milk which made her have to go to the store to buy formula, one of the things she never wanted to use.

She sighed as she sat on her bed while holding her daughter to her chest. This was the first time she actually stopped crying for more than ten minutes. She gently rubbed her back as she slowly laid down.

"You're a little handful, aren't you?" she questioned as she kissed the top of her head. "Let's actually relax now. Mommy is really tired."

Once Kate closed her eyes, she heard little noises coming from her daughter. Noises that suggested that she was about to cry.

She sat up and put her hand behind her head while moving her down so she could see her face.

"I didn't want to use pacifiers with you," she frowned as she watched her daughter squirm a little. "But it looks like that's what they used and I can't just take it away from you."

Kate reached over and grabbed the purple and pink pacifier off the side table. She gently brought it to her daughter's mouth which opened once it touched her lips. She held the pacifier in place so it wouldn't fall out of her mouth. She smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Let's sleep now, okay?"

….

Rick paced the hall of the morgue. He rubbed his hands together trying to think of a reason to give Lanie as to why he was here. Maybe he should just be straightforward and say what he wants to know. He nodded to himself and walked through the doors.

"Writer boy?" Lanie questioned full of confusion.

"Hi," he spit out after a few seconds.

"There's not a case and Kate is still has a couple weeks of maternity leave. So what do you need?"

"Who's Alyvia's father?" he sputtered out which made her drop the pen she was holding.

"Listen here, Castle, you are about to cross a line that could jeopardize yours and Kate's relationship. Do you understand?"

"Yes, but… how could I have missed it? It can't be Demming because they weren't together long. So.. who?"

Lanie shook her head.

"I'm not tellin' you who the father is. I will leave that to her. If you want to know, you ask her."

"Why is everyone treating this like she did something horrible?"

"I suggest you leave now, Castle. I have work to do and you're not helping."

Rick stood still and tried to read Lanie's look, but he didn't get anything out of it. He sighed and walked out of the room. He decided to check on his partner and her baby just in case she ran out of something.

When he arrived at her apartment, he slowly walked up the stairs and was let in by an older man who didn't think he looked harmful. In return, Rick helped him carry his groceries to his apartment. Once he got back into the elevator and hit Kate's floor, he started to have second thoughts.

_You are about to cross a line that could jeopardize yours and Kate's relationship._

He pushed Lanie's words aside and stepped out of the open elevator. He walked over to her apartment door to hear crying on the other side. He gently knocked on the door and stepped back.

Kate opened her door to find Rick standing in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned over her crying daughter.

"I came to see if you needed anything… I can leave if you…"

"No, it's fine. Just don't… uh… mind the mess," she stepped out of the way and continued to sway back and forth.

"Looks like a tornado hit the inside of your place," he said with a smile.

"Mmm.." she nodded as she slid a pacifier into her daughter's mouth and held her finger on it.

"You didn't sleep at all, did you?" he asked after seeing the dark rings under her eyes.

"Doesn't matter. Sit," she nodded her head in the direction of the couch.

Rick moved a few things onto the floor and sat down.

"If you want to take a nap… I can watch her for you."

"It's fine. I'm used to not sleeping from cases at work," she replied as she sat in the rocking chair diagonal him.

"Seriously, Kate, it looks like you might fall asleep holding her. I promise I won't hurt her or anything. Just for a couple of hours."

"I don't know…"

"If anything happens I'll wake you up. I promise nothing will happen."

Kate looked down at her half asleep daughter then back up at her caring partner. It was hard for her to trust people now, but she knew he meant well and wouldn't harm her. She slowly got to her feet and stood in front of him. She carefully handed her daughter over to him and watched how he instinctively knew what to do.

The way her daughter laid in his big arms made her smile. She fit perfectly. If only he was the father… She quickly pushed that from her mind. Why would she think like that? After he walked away with Gina… He ruined everything.

"Just a couple of hours," she said to him. "And I mean a couple so if I'm not up, please wake me."

"Will do," he replied while he smiled up at her.

Kate gently ran her hand over her daughter's head before walking to her room. When she entered it she exhaled a breath that she was holding the entire time. He made her so nervous. It was hard for her to trust anyone given the recent events in her life. She tried to push the one night out of her head, but she couldn't so she decided to take half of a sleeping pill. Her psychiatrist told her not to take any during the day, but she needed sleep and now.

Rick looked down at his partner's little girl then around the room. He stood up and walked over to the baby swing. He gently laid her in it and buckled her. He set the speed on low and when he was sure she was secure, he looked over the messy apartment.

"Let's give your mommy a good surprise."

….

Rick was burping Alyvia when he heard a scream-like noise. He quickly set her in her bouncy seat and walked towards the direction of the noise and stopped in front of Kate's bedroom door. He felt weird walking in her room without permission, but this was where the source was coming from. When he opened the door he saw Kate squirming all across the bed.

"Kate!" he shouted and ran over.

Once he sat down on the bed, he tried to hold her still.

"Kate, wake up."

Kate's eyes flew open. She didn't completely take in who was sitting over her. She freaked out. Her feet were kicking uncontrollably. She screamed on the top of her lungs and tried to get away.

"Get off me! GET OFF!"

Rick quickly stood up and walked back. He didn't understand what was going on and it scared him.

Kate put her head in her hands as tears began to flow out of her eyes. Her whole body was shaking and sweating. She looked over at Rick and saw his scared look.

Once he knew she was somewhat okay, Rick went back over to her bed and sat down. He tried to pull her in for a hug, but was pushed away.

"Don't touch me!"

"Kate, what did I…"

"Get out!" she shouted at him as she got up and made him walk out of her room.

Rick, being as terrified as he was, obeyed. He backed out into the living room and towards the door.

"Kate…"

"Leave!"

After he walked out of the door, he stared at it dumbfounded.

_What the hell just happened?_

* * *

><p><em>AN: More clues as to how she got pregnant. dun dun dun O: Let me know what you think.<br>_


	5. Chapter 5

Kate brought her head to the door and slowly slid down it. She rested her head in her hands as the tears fell. She didn't mean to shout at Rick like that. That wasn't like her. She rested her chin on her hand just as her daughter started to cry. She slowly got up and dragged her feet over to the little bouncy seat and scooped her into her arms.

"Mommy's sorry," she whispered as she brought her up to her shoulder while supporting her head. "I didn't mean to yell."

She sat in the rocking chair and put her daughter in a cradling position. With her free hand she pulled out her phone. She smiled at how much her daughter was staring at her in amazement. As she kissed her little nose, her eyes closed and reopened in confusion. The sight of her baby girl made her feel so much better, but she still needed Lanie so she dialed her phone number.

"Hey," Lanie said once she picked up the phone.

"Can you come over when you're out of work?"

"What's wrong?"

"I'll tell you when you get here."

"Okay. I should be done in an hour. Just gotta clean up. Do you want me to pick you up anything?"

"Since I'm not breast feeding anymore… wine. Lots and lots of wine."

"Okay. I'll be there soon."

Kate ended the call and set her phone on the floor. She felt a lot of movement in her arms so she looked down. Alyvia was moving her arms and kicking her little feet while watching her.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked with a smile.

…..

Rick shoved his hands in his pockets and continued to stare at the door in front of him. He wanted to knock and go back in there so bad, but the way she reacted scared him to death. It also made him need information and now. And the only people that possibly knew were Esposito, Ryan, Jim Beckett, and Lanie.

Lanie wasn't much help already and Ryan neglected to tell him that she actually had a baby so maybe Esposito would help. He did give him the file of Johanna Beckett in which he found something big so maybe he would find something else.

He looked at the door once more before walking away. When he got outside, he stared up at the buildings surrounding him. He was scared to push for information because he didn't want anything to happen to his and Kate's relationship. But the need to know why she yelled at him like that was more important.

It took forever, but he finally got a cab and rode down to the precinct. When he entered the bullpen, Esposito was by himself which made this a lot less stressful.

"Hey," he said as he took a seat by him.

"What's up?" Esposito questioned as he set down his pen.

"Uh… I was wondering… did something bad happen to Kate? She freaked out on me earlier when I went over…"

"Yes," Esposito answered once he picked his pen back up.

"How bad? On a scale from one to ten."

"Above a ten. I'm not telling you anything else. This is her life story to tell, not mine."

"Why is everyone protecting this? What happened?" Rick's raised voice actually startled him more than it did Esposito.

Esposito sat back in his chair and observed him.

"You really wanna know what happened? Let her tell you or do your own detective work because nobody here is gonna tell you anything."

Rick liked the idea of being a detective by himself, but it would be hard.

"Where would I even start?" he asked.

"That's up to you."

Rick figured that he wasn't going to get anything else out of Esposito so he said thank you and left. He tried so hard to think of where to start while walking, when it struck him. The newspaper.

…..

Kate opened her door with her free hand. She smiled at her best friend who held up a bag of wine.

"She's so cute!" Lanie exclaimed. "The way her little butt is pushed up. God, I want one."

"Talk to Esposito about that," Kate teased and lead her into the kitchen.

"So how is she?" Lanie asked as she took out two wine glasses.

"She cries a lot and _refused_ to eat for almost the whole day because I couldn't figure out which formula they fed her."

"Did you figure it out?"

"Obviously. If I didn't she wouldn't be asleep on me."

Lanie nodded as she poured them wine in the two glasses. She put some ice in each and walked over to the living room. Once Kate was sitting in the rocking chair, she handed her one.

"That looks bad," Lanie said as she took a sip of hers.

"What?"

"You drinkin' wine with a little baby laying on your chest."

"It's not like I'm going to let myself get wasted or anything," Kate replied as she set her glass on the table next to her.

"So… why did you sound so upset when you called earlier?"

"Um… well… Castle came over here earlier to see how I was doing."

"Typical. Go on."

"He insisted that I take a nap… so I did. He actually cleaned up my apartment while taking care of her," she looked down at her sleeping daughter. "Then… I had a nightmare."

"Oh no."

"It was the same one I've been having for months. And he came in the room, woke me up, but I didn't realize it was him. I thought it was…." the tears filling her eyes cut her short.

Lanie put her hand on her best friend's knee. "It's okay."

Kate nodded and continued, "I freaked out. I yelled at him to get out of the house. I couldn't even control myself and now I feel so bad. So… yeah."

"Girl, you need to let Writer Boy know. And I mean that. You can trust him," Lanie smiled.

"No, Lanie. I can't. He walked away when I was about to tell him how I felt."

"Not choosing sides on this one, but he didn't _exactly_ know you were going to. He probably thought you were still with Demming."

"True… but how do I tell him this?"

"Simple. Call him and invite him over to apologize, but make sure you do it when she's asleep," Lanie smiled at Alyvia.

"It's basically all she does," Kate replied as she rubbed her daughter's little back.

"May I?" Lanie stuck her hands out.

"Of course."

Kate lifted Alyvia off of her chest and smiled at how she arched her back with her fists by her head. She kissed her little puckered up lips and handed her over to Lanie.

"Wow. She's still really light," Lanie said as she put her in a cradling position. "Hey little girl. Aunt Lanie loves you."

"I told Castle that I thought she'd be like eight pounds, but I think it's more like six and a half," Kate laughed.

"Probably," Lanie replied. "You're just the most precious thing I've ever laid my eyes on," she said to Alyvia.

…..

The next day, Rick woke up super early to go to the library. When he walked through the doors, he practically ran to the newspaper room and pulled out this year's. He calculated that she got pregnant roughly nine months ago and pulled out newspapers for that month.

He sat down in one of the comfortable chairs at the table and began to flip through the pages. So far he found nothing, but he did see something about him being involved with Beckett.

_If only I wasn't so stupid_, he told himself.

When he started to lose all hope of finding something, he turned the page for a different month and saw Beckett's name. He read very fast and had to reread it. He threw the paper back on the table and grunted. This was a bust. All the article talked about was how she put a famous serial killer behind bars. This was so frustrating for him.

As he was walking out of the library, his cell phone went off and he quickly answered it.

"Hey dad. I did some investigative work for you."

Almost fifteen minutes later, Rick came running through his apartment door. He quickly walked over to his daughter and sat down by her.

"It doesn't exactly say that it was Beckett, but look," Alexis said as she pointed at the laptop screen.

* * *

><p><em>AN: What do you guys think? :D Let me know! Andor correct me on errors you see._


	6. Chapter 6

"Are you sure?" Rick questioned with a high pitched voice.

"Come on, Dad. The timeline isn't just a coincidence. There's a slim chance this wasn't her, but it's very possible."

"This happen to Detective Kate Beckett? I highly doubt it," Rick shook his head.

"Just because she's a trained detective doesn't mean she can't get hurt. Does she always carry her gun on her outside of work?"

"I… I don't think so. Actually yes. She pulled one out of her purse before."

"Maybe it was in her purse and she couldn't get to it. Dad, you don't know for sure. It's just an idea."

"I know. I know. Just…" he leaned his head back and put his hands over his face. "… it's so hard to imagine this happening. If it did, why did she keep Alyvia?"

"Aw, that's a pretty name," Alexis smiled before she pulled her dad's hands from his face. "You will never understand the bond between a mother and her unborn child. I've read about it quite a lot and could you see Kate doing that?"

"No, but then again I never thought she'd have kids…"

"One kid, dad. Practically still a newborn. Maybe she's against abortion. Maybe she had that bond. Maybe she didn't want to end her unborn daughter's life because she already lost her mom."

"How is that relevant?" Rick rose his eyebrow at his daughter.

"She lost her mom, right?" she got a nod as an answer. "She was murdered. Maybe she thinks abortion is like murder. And maybe she didn't want to feel like she was murdering a life. Just a though…"

"That… wow… you're so smart!" Rick exclaimed. "Sometimes I wonder how you're as young as you are."

He pulled her in for a tight hug.

"And sometimes I wonder how you can be so slow."

"Hey."

"I'm kidding."

"Well… while we wait until I have a good idea let's have some chocolate milk."

"Your ideas are never "good ideas." They always end with someone hurt," Alexis replied as she followed him into the kitchen. "And that someone is usually you."

"Fine. Let's wait until I have a plan."

"Or you could always wait until she tells you. Remember how she reacted when you got into her mom's case file?"

Rick put his forehead on the fridge. He didn't want to get yelled at like that again. The pain he caused for her was unbearable and her possible new wounds were still fresh.

"Just be patient."

…..

"Please. Please, stop crying," Kate pleaded as she swayed back and forth. "PLEASE!"

Jim Beckett walked back into the room after he heard his daughter shout.

"You need to relax. She won't calm down until you do."

Kate pinched the bridge of her nose with her free hand.

"I can't do this."

"You can and you will."

"It's so loud! My head hurts. I'm tired. She's spit up on me so many times. I'm not ready to be a mom!"

Jim let out a forced laugh. "It's a little too late for that, but here."

He gently took his granddaughter out of her arms. He walked around the room slowly until the crying turned into little whines and eventually stopped completely. When he turned back around, he saw his daughter with her face in her hands. He set Alyvia in her swing and made sure she was secure before walking away. Once he sat next to his daughter, he could see her body moving which hinted that she was crying.

"Katie…"

"I can't do this, Dad," Kate said through her cries.

"You can."

"How?"

"I don't know, but I can tell you one thing, your mom was the same way with you."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. She couldn't handle it at first, but we had so many people that helped us and so do you."

"Can you guys help me turn back time?"

"You don't mean that. That's the exhaustion talking. Look at her. You really wish that she didn't exist? I sure don't wish that."

Jim pointed over to the baby swing. Alyvia had her head turned to the side a bit with her mouth open while trying to get her clothes that were bunched up by her neck.

"She's hungry," Kate went to stand up, but was pulled back down.

"You relax. I'll make her a bottle."

"Dad, you don't…"

"Just relax. After all, she is my granddaughter," he smiled.

Kate threw her head onto the back of the couch. When she closed her heavy eyes, she felt strange. The crying that her daughter started, sounded distant. She couldn't tell if she was asleep or not until she saw his face. Her body jumped which made her open her eyes. She looked over to see her dad giving her a confused look while feeding her daughter.

"Can I?" she asked with a shaky voice.

"Are you okay, Katie?" Jim questioned when he saw her hands trembling.

"Please. It goes away faster when I'm holding her."

Jim hesitantly took the bottle out of his granddaughter's mouth which resulted in cries. He slowly laid her into his daughter's arms and passed her the bottle.

Kate gently put the nipple of the bottle back into her daughter's mouth. She kissed her forehead and kept her lips there until she stopped shaking.

….

The next day, Rick rushed into the elevator of the 12th. He entered the bullpen and practically ran over to Esposito and Ryan.

"He looks like he ran all the way here," Esposito teased.

"Dude, are you sweating?" Ryan asked.

"You texted me 'Get to the precinct. 911,'" Rick said while trying to catch his breath.

"Yeah," Ryan replied while he grabbed a folder.

"What? You aren't going to tell me?" Rick asked.

"You're going into the observation room. And you will watch and see what we found," Esposito smiled before walking away with Ryan not too far behind.

Rick huffed and followed them. He entered the observation room and stood close to the two-way mirror.

On the other side was a young woman, at least twenty-five. She was fidgety, definitely with her fingers on the table. She looked scared. Not scared of what she will happen within a few seconds. No. She was afraid of something else and it only made him more impatient.

Ryan and Esposito finally entered the room.

"Hello, Ms. O'Brien," Esposito greeted before he sat down.

"You said you had something you wanted to tell us?" Ryan got right down to the main question.

"Yes. Um… I want to be promised full security from you guys first," she whispered.

"We can do that," Esposito replied. "Now give us the reason we have to."

"I was the babysitter for the kids that were kidnapped. Well the newborn."

"Who hired you?" Ryan asked.

"I was never told a name, but one of the guys you arrested is my brother. He told me to babysit her. I can tell you one thing though."

"What?" Esposito pressed.

"They really don't like that female detective."

"Why do you say that?" Ryan leaned forward.

"Because they took the baby when she was so young. They were going to keep her longer, but I insisted they give her back. I calmed her down most of the time, but she knew I wasn't her mom."

"Have you ever seen the one calling all the kidnappings?" Esposito asked while he stood up.

"No. I mean it was possible, but I could never tell. There were so many different guys that I saw."

"Do you remember where you took care of, Alyvia?" Ryan asked after her crossed his arms.

Hearing the baby's name made Ms. O'Brien start to sweat; it became even more real to her.

"Not really. I never left until yesterday. They always brought me what I asked for and they put a bag over my head on my way home," she whispered.

"You're saying that you never looked out a window? I find that highly unlikely," Esposito snarled.

"They kept the curtains closed and whenever I got close to one, someone would walk into the room. But…"

"But what?" Esposito asked.

"But I did time how long it took to get home. It took less than ten minutes and I live near Washington Square Park."

"Thank you Ms. O'Brien," Esposito said before he walked out of the interrogation room with Ryan not far behind.

Rick closed the observation room door just as they walked out.

"Wow. Does Beckett know?" he asked them.

"No. We were hoping that you could tell her," Ryan smiled before going to his desk.

"She's mad at me!" Rick yelled at him.

Esposito laughed and followed Ryan. He turned back towards Rick when he was halfway to his desk.

"Tough love," he smiled.

Rick shoved his hands into his pockets. He pulled his phone out of one of them to find a text from Kate. He quickly opened the messaged.

_I'm sorry about the other day. If you're not busy, you can come over later for coffee or something._

A half hour later, Rick was standing in front of her door with a pizza and coffee. He hesitantly knocked on the door. It took what felt like an hour for her to open it. When she did, he stared at how tired she looked.

"Um… Come in," she said as she walked into her apartment.

Rick followed her in and walked directly to the kitchen. He set down what he brought and turned towards her.

"I'm going to go lay her down in my room," she said.

He watched her pick Alyvia out of her swing. It made him smile when Kate kissed the side of her face before walking towards her room.

Kate sat on her bed and gently laid her daughter in her bassinet. She put her arm on the side of it while using the other to hold her head. She gently ran her fingers over her daughter's soft hair.

"Mommy has to tell him, don't I? Even Grandpa told me to," she whispered.

Before she walked out of the room, she made sure all the windows were locked. She looked at her daughter once more before going back out to Rick.

She slowly sat down next to him on the couch.

"I hope you like pepperoni pizza. I know you said coffee, but you've got to be hungry."

"Rick."

Whenever she called him that, his attention was at it's fullest.

"I need to tell you something."

* * *

><p><em>AN: The whole abortion conversation is half of my opinion on the topic. I do not, by any means, want to cause an argument. But I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I had help editing and did some myself while waiting for my niece to be born. So if something doesn't make sense, please let me know or just tell me what you though :D<em>


	7. Chapter 7

"Are you okay?" Rick asked when he saw the seriousness in Kate's face.

"Yes. I mean sort of," she answered.

Rick sat up straighter and let her continue.

"Alyvia…" she licked her lips and looked down at her lap.

"It's okay. I think I know what you're trying to say."

"No. You don't."

Kate quickly stood up and began pacing the room. Rick stayed in his seat because he didn't want her to get mad at him.

"I… I was…" tears cut her short.

"Kate," Rick whispered.

She slowly shook her head at him, "I was... raped."

Before she started crying hysterically, Rick was already by her side holding her in his arms.

"I'm so sorry I yelled at you the other day."

"It's okay," he replied.

"It's just so... hard."

"I know."

"And all the nightmares…"

"I _know_."

Rick tried finding something else to say, but he couldn't. There was nothing you could say to make a victim of something horrible feel better. Nothing. All he knew he could do was hold her until she stopped crying. And he didn't even get shocked when he realized that he _was_ holding her.

"I'm sorry," Kate finally said as she wiped her eyes.

"Why are you sorry? It's okay to be upset over… _this_."

She pulled away from him and began to pace the room.

"Kate, why don't you sit down?"

"This all sucks."

"What?" one of Rick's eyebrows rose in confusion.

Before she could answer his question, she heard small cries from the baby monitor on the coffee table.

"I think that's your queue," Rick smiled to try and lighten the mood.

"She's not fully awake. She lets out a small cry then gets quiet. Once she's really crying, I go in there."

"That's good. I used to run into the room whenever Alexis made a noise."

Kate smiled. The sight of him being a father to a small Alexis, made her awe inside. And how he would jump up just to make sure she was okay was almost unbearable to imagine.

"So… are you okay, for now I mean?" Rick asked with a caring tone.

"Yeah."

"Would you like to eat?"

"I'm starved. Taking care of a newborn leaves me little time right now."

"It gets easier, trust me."

Rick followed her over to the kitchen. He watched her look out the window as rain started to pour down.

"Crap!" Kate exclaimed as she started to search for her keys.

"What?" Rick stood confused with two plates in his hands.

"My car windows are down! Uh…" she grabbed her keys off the coffee table. "Do you…"

"No, go ahead," he smiled which made him get one in return.

Once he watched her leave the apartment, he took a slice of pizza out of the box. He set it on his plate then place it down before getting a glass of Sprite. When he was taking his first sip, he heard loud cries coming from the living room. He practically ran over to the baby monitor as it went silent. He let out a breath of relief, but as he started to go back to his pizza, it started again.

"_Uh_…" he looked over at the door to see if Kate would magically appear.

When he realized that was nearly impossible since she left not even a two minutes ago, he sighed and made his way toward Kate's room.

Once he pushed open the door, he was hit by extremely loud crying. He wanted to cover his ears, but he had to pick Alyvia up somehow.

When he stood over the bassinet, it was the first time he noticed how small she was.

"You're a lot smaller than Alexis," he said.

He gently slid his hands under Alyvia's small body. He scooped her into his arms and grabbed the blanket that was on her. It took him a few tries to get it over her correctly and then he walked back out into the living room.

"Why are you crying?" he said as calmly as he could. "I promise that your mommy will be right back."

He watched as she turned her head towards him with her mouth open. She tried this a few times.

"You're hungry. Um…"

Quickly, he made his way over to the fridge to find that there was no formula already made. He looked back down at the baby in his arms.

"I forgot how to make a bottle. But I promise if you stop crying, your mommy will be right back."

A few minutes later, Kate came walking back into the apartment soaked.

"It's like a…" she stopped once she heard her daughter crying and saw Rick holding her.

She wanted to laugh at how scared he looked, it was more of a terrified look. But instead of laughing and making him feel bad, she walked over to the kitchen and began to make a bottle.

Rick stood right by her side so he could relearn how to make one. He also thought it would be a good idea since babies can sense their parents. It did help calm Alyvia down a little, but it didn't stop all the crying.

The microwave finally beeped and Kate took the bottle out. She set it down on the counter and went to take her daughter.

"Don't you think you should change? You're soaked."

"I'm not dripping all over the floor or anything. Plus, what if she's not even hungry?" Kate rose her eyebrow at him.

"Trust me, she is, but you should change first."

Kate studied him for a second. She nodded and handed him the bottle.

"I'll be right back," she said before walking towards her bedroom.

Rick brought his gaze back on Alyvia. He gently moved the tip of the bottle into her mouth. He softly laughed when she began to drink like she was never fed before.

"You're a hungry little girl," he smiled and walked over to the couch.

Once he sat down, he_ really_ looked at her. She looked a lot like Kate then again he didn't know what the dad looked like. But, he knew she looked identical to how her mom did when she was a baby because of the photo he saw in her bedroom. The photo of Johanna Beckett holding her newborn daughter.

It must've been tough to be pregnant and not have the support of your own mother.

_Or my support._

Alyvia's cough got him out of his thoughts.

"Careful. She usually takes more than she can handle," Kate said as she grabbed the plates with pizza on them and walked to the couch.

Rick took the bottle out of Alyvia's mouth and sat her up. He held her with most of her weight on one hand and patted her back.

Kate laughed when she sat next to them.

"She wants your thumb," she smiled.

"She looks like you," Rick said which caused Kate to smile even more.

"My dad says the same thing. He says it's like holding me all over again."

"I wouldn't doubt it," he said as he held up the bottle. "Should I keep feeding her?"

Kate brought her face down to her daughter's level.

"Are you full?"

Alyvia's gaze fell on her mom. Her blue eyes were more wide than before.

"I wonder if she can actually see me."

"It's said that most newborns see shadows," Rick shrugged.

"Want me to take her?" Kate asked after she sat back up.

"I can hold her while you eat."

"Or…" Kate leaned over the side of the couch and pulled up a boppy pillow. "She likes this."

She set it between her and Rick. She slowly took her daughter from him and laid her in the middle of it.

"Now we both can eat," she smiled.

"Wanna watch a movie?" Rick asked once he took his plate off the coffee table.

"Aw shoot. Uh… my favorite soap is on right now…"

"You watch soaps?"

"Yeah… _Temptation Lane_. I've always watched it with my mom," she smiled which made Rick feel less horrible.

"Sure. I'll watch it," he smiled.

Halfway through the show, there was a bright streak of lightning followed by a intense noise of thunder. The noise disturbed Alyvia and got her crying.

Kate quickly picked her up and held her close.

"It's okay. It's just thund…"

Before she could finish her sentence, the power cut out.

"Uh oh," Rick said.

"Looks like I'm going to my Dad's tonight," Kate said.

"Why's that?"

"He has a generator and I need power to make her bottles."

"I could drop you off."

"Thanks. Let me call him quick."

Kate brought her daughter into her bedroom to call her dad.

Rick started to clean up all the food they ate. He liked being here. It was different than his home. Maybe it was because this one held the woman he's wanted for a couple of years.

_But Gina_…

His and Gina's relationship wasn't doing too well. If he broke it off with her now and started dating Kate, he would never be able to live it down since she was his publisher. Maybe he could end it and slowly get Kate to like him again.

"It's all set," Kate said once she came back into the living room.

Twenty minutes later, the three of them were walking down the hallway towards the elevator. Rick was carrying the baby seat and Kate was carrying the bags with clothes. They were about to walk outside when an officer got in their way.

"We aren't letting anyone on this street leave," he spoke.

"Why?" Kate asked.

"Power lines and two trees are blocking the road. And someone's car was smashed from a random tree."

"Oh my god," Kate exclaimed.

"When can we leave?" Rick asked.

"Most likely late tonight, but to be safe, because of hydroplaning, I was told to say tomorrow."

Kate looked at Rick who looked back at her. They both were thinking the same thing.

_Now what?_

* * *

><p><em>AN: Fluffy chapter, yes? Let me know what you think. Sorry for the delay. Writer's block and no ambition to write overtook me. Enjoy though (:<br>_


	8. Chapter 8

"I guess you're staying for the night," Kate said to Rick.

"Are you sure? I could always-"

"Always what? They said nobody is leaving until tomorrow. You might as well stay. I do have a spare room."

Kate rolled her eyes at his stunned expression.

"Come on."

Rick followed her back to the elevator. He watched as she hit the up button a million times, full of anxiousness.

"You've got to be kidding me. It just worked!"

She slammed her hand on the door which caused Rick and baby Alyvia to jump.

"You scared her," he whispered, so he wouldn't wake her.

"Sorry. I just don't feel like walking up the stairs."

"Well I don't wanna wait here forever," he smirked, before heading up the stairs.

Rick headed up the stairs pretty fast. After two flights he was gasping for air. It was hot and he wasn't in the best of shape.

Kate appeared behind him and let out a breathy laugh.

"Seriously? The summer really did some damage," she patted his stomach and continued on.

Rick was stunned; stunned that she touched him like that. She wasn't the type to do that. Maybe having Alyvia changed her... He shook his head as an attempt to lose his thoughts.

They finally reentered her apartment and collapsed on the couch. Rick set Alyvia's carseat on the coffee table so she was easier to see.

"When do they stay awake for longer periods of time?" Kate asked him, figuring he knew because of Alexis.

"Well, Alexis started at around a month, but for a few hours at a time. I tried to keep her up from 5pm-10pm with every idea so she would sleep longer."

"I can imagine you doing some pretty bizarre things," she smiled.

"Getting her naked helped. She loved it. That's the only thing that actually worked. Oh and baths."

"Yeah… Alyvia does not like the sponge baths."

"She will like water though."

"Are you sure?"

"I promise on that one," he was enjoying talking about Alexis as a baby since she grew up so fast. "Since we had Alexis in October, she loved the warm baths. And in the summer we would fill the tub so it was cool water."

Kate just nodded her head, her mind catching up to her. This caused them to sit in an awkward silence until Alyvia let out a tiny hiccup.

"Oh god. She hates these."

Kate sat on the edge of the couch and unbuckled her daughter. She waited, with her chin resting on her hand, for the whining to start. As she was going to pick her daughter up, Rick placed his hand on her shoulder.

"You should let her cry a little. It's good for them."

"It's hard to though."

"I know, but you don't want her spoiled, right?"

"I guess so…"

Kate sat back with her arms crossed. She didn't like being proved wrong. Definitely when it revolved around her daughter.

Rick knew how she was feeling because he was in her position when it came to Alexis.

He decided to make her think about something else. "So… what do you have that we can eat?" Rick asked.

"Not much. There's probably mac 'n' cheese. Maybe some soup."

"That's right. You're the one who eats out most of the time," Rick nodded to himself.

"Quickest for me. I only buy formula at the moment. If you want that, by all means go ahead."

"No thanks," they both laughed at the same time.

Rick got up and headed toward the kitchen. He went through all her cupboards to find something edible. He finally came across Hamburger Helper.

"It's not expired," he said, checking the date. "Would you like this?" he held it up, allowing her to see.

"You don't have to cook."

On that note, Alyvia started to cry, a lot louder than before.

"I think I do," Rick smiled and turned back toward the counter. He wanted to make her something to eat, even if it was something so simple. He wanted to prove that he still cared

"Come here, beautiful," Kate spoke in a gentle tone while leaning forward.

She lifted her daughter out of her carseat and had her rest on her shoulder. She stood up and walked into the kitchen while patting her back.

"Is she hungry?" Rick asked as he set the oven to preheat.

"Oh crap. How am I supposed to heat up her bottle?" she began to panic.

Rick placed a pan with water in it on the stove. He turned it on with a match he found in, what he thought was, the junk drawer and faced her.

"The old fashioned way."

"And how long will this take?"

"Well the water has to heat up first. So… maybe ten minutes?"

"Great. We will be deaf by then," she rolled her eyes and walked to her room.

When she turned around, Rick was leaning against the doorway.

"What're you doing? Escaping?"

"Escaping my own apartment? Nice try," she laid her daughter on the changing table. "No, Genius, I'm changing her diaper."

"Oh… Look at that… time to… do... something."

Rick immediately ran from her room and back into the kitchen. He already went through the changing diapers phase once. It wasn't his favorite part about being a dad.

Speaking of being a dad.

He quickly pulled out his phone and hit Alexis' speed dial.

She picked up on the third ring. "Hey, Dad."

"Hey, Pumpkin. I don't think I'm going to make it home tonight."

"Why?"

"The storm kind of stranded me…"

"When will you be home? You know I don't like storms."

The shaky tone in his daughter's voice made him feel bad, but it wasn't his fault. He was told to stay here.

"Most likely in the morning."

"Can I come where you are?"

Seconds later, Kate came into the living room with a crying Alyvia. She was walking and swaying at the same time, trying to calm her down.

Rick checked to see if the water was boiling, but it wasn't yet.

"Dad!"

"Yes?"

"That was the fifth time I said that," Alexis huffed.

"Sorry."

"Who's the baby? Wait… you're at Beckett's for the night?"

"Not like that."

"I know that, Dad. You're still with Gina, remember?"

"Shoot. I forgot about her. What should I tell her?"

"The truth."

"So are you going to be okay tonight?"

"Switching topics so fast, but are you sure there's no way I can get over there or you can leave?"

Just then, he noticed the water boiling. He quickly set the cold bottle in it and stood close by.

"Is there power there?" he asked.

"No."

"Beckett."

"Kind of busy here, Castle," she replied.

"Is it possible for Alexis to run down the alley from the street over?"

"Or you could leave that way," Kate smiled.

"My car is here…"

"Oh. Um… if you want to meet her on the other end, sure."

"Does that sound okay?" he asked his daughter.

"Anything to get out of being alone."

"You're alone? I'm so sorry. I forgot Mother was out of town."

"Yeah. Okay, Dad. See you soon."

He ended the call and set his phone on the kitchen table.

"Is the bottle ready?" Kate impatiently asked.

"Oh! Yes!"

Rick quickly took the bottle out and tested it on his wrist. Perfect.

He walked over to Kate and smiled at the way Alyvia had her hand in her mouth. It wasn't hard to admit that he had a soft spot for her. Even though he's only seen her a few times.

"Here," he handed the bottle over.

Kate gently moved her daughter's hands away from her face which resulted in a single cry being let out.

"Sh sh sh."

It took her a couple of tries to get Alyvia to keep the bottle in her mouth because her hands kept pushing it out. Once it stayed in her mouth, Kate walked over to the couch and sat.

"She's really hungry," Rick laughed at the noises Alyvia was making.

"Calm down," Kate whispered as she kissed her daughter's forehead. "It's not going anywhere."

"Since it is getting dark, do you have candles or lanterns?" Rick questioned.

"There should be, maybe, two lanterns in the closet by the front door. The candles are in my room. And I have a ton of flashlights."

"Alright."

Fifteen minutes later, after setting up the lanterns and candles, Rick's phone began to ring. He ran into the kitchen to get the call.

He smiled at his daughter's name on the screen. "Hey, Alexis."

"Almost to the street."

"Alright. On my way."

He ended the call and ran toward the door.

"Wait… How am I supposed to get to the alley?"

"Use the fire escape. It's in the guest room."

"Are you serious?"

"You want to sneak her in… Yeah. I'm quite serious."

"Okay… Well, I'll be back."

Kate watched as he fled toward the guest room. She shook her head and smiled. He didn't change over the summer and she was grateful for that. She didn't want their relationship to feel too awkward, not after he found out she had a baby. But the fact that he was bringing _his_ daughter here…

She couldn't deny how much she's always cared for Alexis. She was a good kid, a really good kid. At least from Rick's point of view. But the fact that they were getting close to Alvyia, really bothered her.

And now she was overanalyzing what was happening before her, something she couldn't control. This was different. How could she let someone get close to her daughter when they could be gone in two years? How could she let the chances of separation anxiety occur?

Before she kept questioning every single thing, she realized Alyvia hasn't moved in quite some time. When she looked down, her daughter's eyes were closed.

"You just woke up. How can you be tired?" she smiled, before gently taking the bottle away. This caused Alyvia to squirm in her arms and open her eyes. "And now you're awake. I can't win with you."

…..

"Dad!" Alexis yelled as she ran forward, splashing through the small puddles.

"Hey, Pumpkin," Rick said, after she crashed into him.

"Why exactly are we in an alley?"

They cuffed arms and continued to walk.

"It's the only way I could get outside without a cop stopping me and Ka… Beckett told me to."

"You always listen to her, but you don't listen to me or Grams."

"I listen to you guys!"

"Not as often as I'd like."

"And I don't always listen to Beckett."

"Yeah. I know."

"How do you know?" he questioned with his voice slightly higher than normal.

"I do get told things."

Alexis covered her mouth and nose while they walked past a stack of garbage cans.

"God, why does that smell so… disgusting?" she questioned.

Rick stopped dead in his tracks, yanking Alexis back a few steps.

"Geeze, Dad."

Since the darkness of the alley made it hard for them to see each other's expressions, Alexis could still sense her dad's.

"What are you thinking?" she asked.

"It's nothing."

Within seconds, they got to the bottom of the fire escape before Alexis could ask more questions. Question in which he knew she would end up asking.

"Seriously, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing. Honest."

"I don't believe you," Alexis rolled her eyes. "I won't let this slide."

"I know. And we have to go up there," Rick pointed up the fire escape.

"Is this what it's like to follow a cop?" she questioned, before starting to climb.

"Kind of."

They climbed a few stair cases, until Alexis turned toward him.

"Which window?"

"I'll let you know when we get close."

He took one last look toward the garbage cans before following his daughter. It can't be… No. It wasn't.

"Uh, Dad?"

"Yes?"

"This window?"

"Nope. One more."

A flash of lightning lit up the alley and Rick quickly look back toward the garbage cans, but it was too late. The darkness was already back.

"Come on!" Alexis exclaimed.

"Oh! Sorry."

Rick put one leg through the window and went to bring his head through, but slammed it on the window.

"OW!"

"Seriously?" Alexis rolled her eyes and took her dad's hand leading him inside which didn't help.

Instead, he got his other foot stuck on the window sill and toppled over.

Kate's hand stopped just above her daughter's small back. Her heart began to race rapidly, but she tried to keep her cool since she had a baby in her arms. As fast as possible, she stood up and tiptoed toward the noise.

Her heart sped up once she put her hand on the already cracked door. She opened it and pointed her flashlight around to find a soaked Alexis taking her shoes off and a soaked Rick on the floor.

"What are you doing?" she asked, confused.

"His foot got stuck," Alexis smiled at her, a smile that made Kate's anxiety quick flee.

"Typical."

"I can hear you," Rick huffed before standing up.

Alexis noticed the small baby on Kate's shoulder. She quickly ignored her "hurt" father and walked over with a smile.

"She's so little," she gently touched Alyvia's clenched fist. The noise of the window slamming made all three of them jump.

"Jesus, Castle!"

"Sorry! It slipped!" he faced them and smiled to himself; he didn't want to be asked why he was smiling. "Now that's it dark, what do we do?"

"By the looks of it, you both are drenched from the rain so I suggest you guys change," Kate answered. "Oh, and dinner has been done for about five minutes."

"Are you hungry, Alexis?" Rick asked his daughter, shrugging his coat off.

"Yeah," she answered while still being in awe over Alyvia.

"Here, I'll take the flashlight," Rick said, taking the small flashlight from Kate and leading the way to the kitchen so they could grab another flashlight. Definitely since she told him to change.

Once Rick and Alexis changed, they walked into the dimly lit living room, from one of the lanterns.

Kate attempted to pick up Alyvia's bouncy seat while still holding her.

"I got it," Alexis smiled, picking the seat up and bringing it into the kitchen. She set it by one of the chairs and sat down.

"Thanks," Kate responded, gently setting her daughter down and buckling her in.

"Now we eat," Rick said.

…..

Kate finally fell asleep and awoke twenty minutes later from hearing small movements in the bassinet.

"Alyvia, please sleep," she mumbled into her pillow.

It only took minutes before the little whimpers started.

Kate flopped onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She could never get good a goodnights sleep anymore. It was really aggravating.

She finally got up once the whimpers turned into small cries. She sat at the edge of her bed, reaching for her daughter. A simple touch instantly stopped the crying.

"Maybe you are spoiled," Kate yawned, before standing and lifting Alyvia into her arms. "Let's get your bottle ready."

She dragged herself out of her room and stopped when she noticed light in the living room. Instantly, she tiptoed to reduce the sound of her steps. The view of Castle, sitting on the couch reading a book with a flashlight, calmed her down.

"What are you doing up so late?" she questioned, which she knew startled him because of the way he whipped his head toward her.

"Couldn't sleep."

"I'm going to grab a bottle and change her."

"Do you want any help?"

How could she say no to the kindhearted man in front of her? She blamed the exhaustion because there wasn't any other apparent reason.

"Sure. If you don't mind," she answered, readjusting Alyvia in her arms.

A good ten minutes later, all three of them were on the couch. And Alyvia eventually fell asleep while eating.

"She can't stay up long enough to eat. It's funny," Kate smiled, bringing her daughter to her shoulder to try and burp her.

"Kate…"

She turned her head toward Rick. The serious tone he had frightened her, like she did something wrong without knowing it.

"Yeah?" she whispered.

"What are we doing?"

"Well I'm burping my daughter and you're reading."

"No. I mean us. All of us."

The question she always feared coming out of anyone's mouth. She never believed in longterm commitment, not after her mom died. But ever since she had her daughter, everything changed. Her view on the world was different.

She also never knew it was possible to fall in love seconds after laying your eyes on someone. That someone being her baby girl. And what hurt the most was her mother never getting the chance to see her granddaughter. Even though she did talk about this to her dad, it didn't make it any easier.

But Rick's question? She did think about it. There just wasn't an exact answer. Not one that she could form in her head without going in circles.

"Um… Friends. We are friends," she finally answered.

"I'm good with that," Rick smiled, which made her feel so much more at ease and he knew that.

"Why?"

"You have a baby now and I can't help but care for her so much. Almost like my own daughter. And Alexis already cares about her a lot… If you don't want us to get attached, please let me know now."

Kate closed her eyes and rubbed her daughter's back. She didn't want him getting attached to her baby. So many things could go wrong if she lets it happen.

But how could she say, 'no you can't see my daughter because you left me when I was about to tell you how I felt about you?' That would hurt his feelings way too much and she couldn't bear to see him in pain.

She knew her answer. It was right there the whole time. She just never wanted to admit it to herself. But now she had to tell him.

* * *

><p><em>AN: So sorry for the huge delay. I thought I'd be able to write in at least one of my college classes. Nope. And I'm also dealing with personal issues so bear with me on this. I'd also love to know what you guys thought of this chapter. And if you find any small errors my friend and I missed, please let me know.<br>_


	9. Chapter 9

"Why can't murder ever sleep? I need sleep," Ryan yawned.

"It's only 4 am," Esposito shook his head.

"So?"

"So you should have at least gotten six hours of sleep or were you too busy sippin' honey milk?"

Ryan decided to stay quiet. It was too early to come up with a clever comeback.

Esposito smirked at Ryan then smiled when he saw Lanie walking over to them. "What do we have?"

"Female. Early twenties. She took a .45 to the chest. Looks like your normal pop and drop," she said.

Ryan turned toward his parter who was looking up one of the buildings.

"What?" Lanie asked before he could.

"Isn't that Beckett's place?" Esposito questioned, pointing to the building he thought was hers.

Ryan, being as curious as he was now, ran out of the alley and looked at the building head on.

"That's hers," he shouted, loud enough for Esposito and Lanie to hear.

"Should we tell her?" Esposito asked aloud.

"Yeah, since it's near her place, but not now. It's way too early… even though Alyvia is usually up around this time."

"Alright. I'll go up with Ryan."

"So will I," Lanie replied.

"What about the body?"

"This is Perlmutter's normal shift so he will do the autopsy."

"Cool. Let's go tell Beckett."

Once the trio arrived in front of Kate's door, the boys looked at each other to see who would knock.

Lanie rolled her eyes and gently knocked.

"Are you expecting someone this early?" Rick whispered.

"No…"

Kate slowly stood up and tiptoed to the door, Rick not too far behind. She pulled it open which made her step back.

"Lanie?"

"Castle?" Lanie asked with a sly smirk.

"What's going on here?" Esposito questioned.

"Uh… I could ask you three the same," Kate answered.

"Can we come in and tell you… unless we are disturbing something," Lanie just wanted to know why writer boy was in her best friend's apartment.

"Yeah. Sure," Kate said. "I'm going to go lay Alyvia back down. Just make yourselves comfortable, I'll be right back."

Kate headed toward her room with Lanie following her. She stood near Alyvia's bassinet and looked at Lanie.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"If you have something to say, say it," Kate snapped as she gently laid her daughter down.

"Why is writer boy here?"

"When are you going to quit calling him that?"

"When you answer my question."

"The power went out during the storm and the street was closed. He did try to leave, but a cop said no."

"And now you're playing house," Lanie nodded with a small smile. "Even though the power is back on," she flipped the light switch in her friend's room. "See?"

Kate squinted at the bright light. "Well it wasn't on for the whole night."

"Mhm."

"Lanie! Nothing is going on!"

"_Right_."

"I actually told him about the incident," Kate mumbled, her head toward the floor.

"Oh. Honey. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I'm fine."

"Then why are your hands shaking?"

"I'm tired."

"You know that you can't lie to me."

"I'm fine, Lanie," Kate said through gritted teeth.

"If you say so."

….

"So what's going on here?" Ryan asked full of amusement.

"A cop told us we couldn't leave because of wires or something," Rick calmly answered.

"And you both happen to be awake?"

"I was reading. She came out here with the baby."

"You're playing house!" Ryan and Esposito did their fist bump.

"No, I'm sleeping in the guest room with my daughter."

"That's playing house, bro," Esposito smiled.

"If we were playing 'house' I'd be sleeping in her bed. If you haven't noticed, I'm not."

"You sound disappointed," Ryan smiled.

"Can't deny that," Rick smiled back.

"Of course you can't," Esposito nodded.

"So… why are you guys here?" Rick asked.

"A body was found outside in the alley. We thought we should tell Beckett," Ryan yawned after his statement.

"Yeah," Lanie said as she reentered the room.

"Castle are you okay?" Kate asked full of concern because of how pale he got.

"I… I thought I saw the body when… when I brought Alexis down the alley. A-and the smell. It was really bad."

"Where exactly did you think you saw the body?" Esposito asked, going back into cop-mode.

"Near dumpsters or something. It was dark and hard to tell, but the smell wasn't garbage," Rick rubbed his hands together, nerves taking their toll.

"It's okay, Castle," Kate reassured, putting her hand on his arm.

"We just thought you should know since it was near your place," Ryan broke the awkward silence.

"And we wanna make sure it's not connected to you in anyway," Esposito added.

Kate closed her eyes and ran her hands through her hair.

"I'm tired and I will talk to you guys tomorrow, okay?"

Ryan looked to Esposito with a confused look.

"Okay, honey. I'll call you in the morning, okay?" Lanie asked with a softer tone than before.

"Yeah. Okay."

Kate walked her friends out of her apartment and started to head toward her room, until Rick spoke.

"I know that bothered you. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she lied.

Rick knew she was lying so he followed her into her bedroom. When she turned toward him, her eyes were full of tears ready to fall.

"Kate…" he put his arms out and she willingly let him hug her.

She would never admit it to anyone, not even herself, but his hugs made her feel safe. Safer than how she was feeling right now.

"Do you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?"

"No," she whispered. "That'd be awkward for me," she forced a laugh out to lighten the mood.

"Okay. I'll see you later," Rick smiled.

"The power is back on," Kate told him before he walked out of the room.

"Really?"

"Yeah," she turned her lamp on to prove it to him.

"Cool," he smiled. "Oh… and Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want me to get attached?"

Kate sat down on her bed and patted the spot next to her. "Sit."

Rick listened and turned toward her, ignoring his immature side shouting 'I'm on her bed. I'm on her bed.'

"There's a wall I built around Alyvia and myself," Kate spoke, looking Rick directly in the eyes. She could see the immediate sadness overtaking them. "But…"

Rick sat up straighter than he was. Anytime a 'but' came from his partner, he knew something good would come after that.

"But I can't make you stay away from someone you care about, that's just inhumane. Definitely when that someone is an innocent baby."

"So you're allowing me to make a door through this wall, so I can see her?"

"Something like that. You're allowed to see her just not on a regular basis. You're my best friend, Rick, I don't want to lose that."

A sly smirk made it's way across Rick's lips. He knew how to weasel his way back into her life and now he was in her daughter's. It would be grand if he could change the best friend status to couple. He knew Kate was still very fragile from the tragic incident. He knew she needed more time to heal. He knew that and he had no problem waiting. And this time he wouldn't make the mistake and run off with his ex-wife and publisher.

"Why are you smiling?" Kate questioned, squinting her eyes at him.

"I honestly thought you were going to kick me to the curb," he lied, knowing that 'he was going to prove to her that she can be with him' was what was really on his mind.

"Uh-huh…"

"Honest and thank you."

"For?"

"For not making me go through separation anxiety," he laughed.

"Oh please. You've only seen her like twice," she playfully slapped his arm.

"True, but innocence is easy to get attached to."

Kate smiled and looked at her sleeping daughter. "I know," she whispered.

Rick smiled because she was and leaned over to see the sleeping baby. "She's out cold."

Kate froze for a moment because he was so close to her. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. As she was exhaling, she became more relaxed.

Rick noticed how her body language changed. He wanted to ask if she was okay, but he knew that would just make it worse.

"I'm going to go back to sleep… I'll see you later," Kate stammered.

He slowly got up. "Okay. Goodnight, Kate," he replied gently.

"Night."

Once he was out of her room, she laid under her blankets in a ball.

Why was this so hard for her? She could trust him and that wasn't a lie she was telling herself. Why wouldn't her mind just accept it? Whatever the reason, it really frustrated her. She wanted to live a normal life again. Maybe therapy once every few weeks wasn't enough. She told herself that she would call later today. She would make herself right in the head again, even if it killed her.

* * *

><p><em>AN: It's not as long as the previous chapter, but I didn't want you guys to wait too long. <em>

_I actually like where this is going. Sometimes you never know where a story will go while your writing chapter by chapter. I'm also thinking about writing another AU fic during my one month Christmas break. Can't get enough of the AU xD If you have any ideas on a good AU fic, let me know on Tumblr (bonesinacastle) or on here._

_And if you spot any mistakes let me know. (I'm not the best grammar person.)_

_ENJOY._


	10. Chapter 10

"Anything?" Ryan asked once his partner took his seat by him.

"The only lead we have is that it is connected to Beckett, but we can't tell her that, understand?"

"I understand," Ryan nodded.

"And if she asks about the case we tell her we finally have a lead."

"Got it," Ryan looked at his partner with concern. "We have to protect her."

"I know," Esposito tapped his pen on the desk. "How do we protect someone without scaring her to death?"

"I know what you mean. We've witnessed how her whole body trembles when she has a flashback. She's still damaged."

"I know, bro. Maybe we should tell Castle. He'd know what to say."

"Yeah, and he'd also try and help us. He needs to be there for Kate, not us," Ryan replied.

"True. So what are we supposed to do? We can't send uniforms to her apartment, that's too suspicious."

"We find this bastard before he tries to find her."

Esposito fist bumped his partner and nodded. They cared about Kate more than they have any other partner they've worked with. She was their leader and she even helped with their relationships and life problems. Now it was their turn. They would protect her no matter what.

…..

"It's been three days, when are you going to call him?" Lanie asked, finishing her cup of coffee.

"He could always call me…And it's been three days since you guys got a solid lead," Kate mumbled into her cup.

"He knows when to keep his distance. You out of all people should know that. And the case isn't even relevant right now."

"I know. We actually plan on having dinner at my place tomorrow."

Lanie studied her best friend for a second. "You're lyin' to me."

"Maybe a little," Kate smirked.

"Fine. I'm callin' him myself," Lanie pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts.

"Lanie!" Kate jumped out of her chair to chase her friend.

"Castle, hi! It's Lanie."

Kate stopped chasing her and crossed her arms. She took a few steps forward and snatched the phone from her friend.

"You didn't even call him!"

"I know, but you did prove to me that you do want to see him again and soon," Lanie gave a devilish look.

Before Kate could respond, cries came from the pack n play in the living room.

"And you woke my daughter up. Awesome."

"I got it!" Lanie exclaimed and ran into the living room. "Auntie Lanie has this under control," she smiled as she lifted Alyvia into her arms.

"I love when she arches her back," Kate said, carrying the coffee cups into the living room.

"She loves her Auntie," Lanie said as she swayed back and forth.

"That's why she hasn't stopped whining yet?"

"Shut up. If I can handle you, I can handle her."

"Well it sounds like you can't handle her. Hand her over," Kate put her arms out.

"I got this, Kate," Lanie replied, starting to get stressed out.

Kate leaned back into her couch and watched her friend, amused. She never thought she would be able to handle a baby and now it was funny to see someone that actually couldn't.

"Okay. Okay. You want your mommy. I got it," Lanie spoke gently to Alyvia before handing her to Kate.

"Hey baby girl," Kate smiled, kissing her daughter's forehead.

"How does that work?"

"What?"

"You touch her and she instantly stops crying."

"Lanie, she was inside of me for eight months. We have a special bond…"

"It's not fair. She should love me too."

"You're jealous of my daughter loving me more than you?" Kate rose an eyebrow.

"Yes," Lanie lied as she started to laugh.

"Wow," Kate shook her head.

"We need to go out dancing. Its been too long."

"That's so random and I'm with child here."

"Have writer boy watch her. I bet he'd love that."

"Lanie…"

"Come on, Kate. Please?"

"No, I am not asking him to watch her."

"Please?" Lanie begged, scooting closer to her friend.

"Lanie, stop," Kate laughed, causing her daughter to jump a little and making her look down. "You made me scare her."

"If you won't let Castle watch her, ask your dad!"

"My dad has to work early in the morning. If I were to ask him a couple weeks ahead, then he'd do it. But since you want to go dancing tonight, it won't happen."

"Fine. How about Jenny and Ryan? Jenny loves babies."

"I doubt she could handle a newborn."

"Alls they do is pee, poop, eat, and sleep. That sounds like such hard work," Lanie rolled her eyes.

"And if she can't get her to stop crying just like you couldn't?"

"It's okay if they cry."

"It's not okay with me if she cries for more than three minutes."

"Ugh," Lanie threw her head onto the couch.

"You're acting like a five year old," Kate laughed.

"We need to go dancing, Kate. And I won't give up."

A few minutes later, there was a knock from the apartment door.

"I got it!" Lanie exclaimed, jumping up.

"I think you should go back to drinking tea…"

"Shut up."

Lanie opened the door to be met with Rick holding two coffees. His ecstatic smile turned into a nervous one once he saw who answered the door.

"Castle. Hi," Lanie took his arm and dragged him inside, closing the door behind them. "Look who's here, Kate."

"Hey," Kate smiled as she readjusted her daughter in her arms.

"I should have called…"

"It's fine. Lanie didn't call either," she glanced at her friend with a smirk.

"I should have brought more than two coffees," Rick said, placing them on the coffee table.

"Lanie doesn't need anymore caffeine right now."

Rick looked at Lanie who was studying him. He swallowed the lump in his throat and sat down on the couch. Why she made him nervous? He wished he could answer that.

"So what are you too up to?" he asked.

"She just woke Alyvia up and now we are just sitting here."

"We are planning on going dancing tonight," Lanie spit out, causing her to get a "shut up" look from Kate.

"Really? That sounds great! You really should go out," Rick smiled between the two girls.

"I can't. Not with a newborn."

"Find someone to watch her. I bet it won't be too hard, she's adorable."

Lanie grinned as she picked up her cup of coffee.

"What?" Rick asked Lanie because of her grin.

"You-"

"Lanie, quiet," Kate cut her short.

"Um…" Rick looked between them confused.

"She thinks you would watch Alyvia tonight, but I told her no," Kate stated, glaring at Lanie.

"I'd love to," Rick replied with a huge smile. "It'd be fun, well not yet since she's so little."

Kate's mouth went agape before she gathered her thoughts. "Are you sure? Even as a newborn, she can be a big handful."

"I'm sure. What time do you guys plan on going out?"

"8:30 pm," Lanie exclaimed before Kate could answer.

"Um… I'm not sure…"

"We are going out, Katherine. Whether you want to or not," Lanie said.

"Kate, it will be fine. I could come here or you could bring her to my place," Rick said, trying to persuade her.

"I don't know…"

"Who couldn't be better? He's had a baby. He can handle it better than anyone," Lanie responded.

"Okay fine. We can go out tonight," Kate finally gave in.

"Yes! Now that you agreed, I should probably get to work," Lanie said as she gathered her things.

"Yeah. Don't want you to get in trouble for being over two hours late again," Kate smiled.

"Bye," Lanie waved. "You better be ready at 8:30 pm and let me know where to meet you," she said before walking out of the apartment.

"Well that was interesting," Rick smiled, sipping his coffee.

"You really don't have to watch her," Kate replied.

"It's fine. I think going out would be good for you."

"If you say so."

"So, how is everything?"

"It's good. She's been irritable since last night for some reason," she answered, lifting Alyvia up to be face to face with her. "Haven't you?"

"Can I hold her?" Rick anxiously asked.

"Sure," she handed her daughter over to him and smiled because she looked so tiny when he held her.

"She needs a diaper change," he announced, standing up to go change her.

"I have diapers out here you know."

"Where?"

"Right under the coffee table," she grabbed a diaper and the case of wipes.

"Convenient."

Rick laid Alyvia on the little changing pad that Kate put down on the couch. He gently slid her purple pants off and set them aside.

"It's funny how she gets excited when changing her diaper," Kate laughed, watching her daughter move around.

"She's so small," Rick exclaimed, taking the wet diaper off of Alyvia. "Oh! Look! Her umbilical cord fell off!"

"Are you serious?"

Kate quickly knelt down by the couch to get a better view.

"Aw. She has an inny," she spoke with a higher pitch than normal.

"Looks like you can bathe her now."

"I'd much rather do that at night. So… maybe before I drop her off."

"You could always do it now and then start giving them to her at night," Rick suggested.

"Are you trying to get the chance to see her first bath?" she asked with her eyebrow slightly raised.

"Well now you know my kryptonite."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Come on."

…..

Several hours later, Kate was doing her makeup in her bedroom mirror. Alyvia was laying in the middle of her bed amazed by the ceiling fan, which made it easier for her to get ready. Once she was finished she checked herself out in the mirror behind her door. She pinched the fat on her stomach and sighed.

"As much as I love you, Alyvia, I wish you never made me inflate like a balloon," she glanced over at her daughter who was kicking her feet. "But that doesn't matter," she checked the time on her watch. "Oh! What matters is not being late with Aunt Lanie."

Before she picked Alyvia up, she made sure everything was packed in the diaper bag. She also made sure to grab the soft purple blanket that she wished was hers. She flung the diaper bag onto her shoulder and lifted her daughter up.

"Let's go visit Mr. Castle."

About twenty minutes after getting into the car, Kate and Alyvia were let into the building since the doorman recognized her. Once they arrived in front of Rick's door, she hesitated to knock. She was beginning to think twice, but before she kept thinking, she finally knocked.

Almost instantly, Rick opened the door with a smile that got even bigger with the view of Kate; definitely the way her dress fell on her new curves.

"Come in," he waved before he started to drool. "Mother is out of town and Alexis is in the shower. She was excited when I told her that Alyvia was coming over for a little while."

"I bet… Where do you want me to put everything?"

"Oh! Let me take it," Rick quickly took everything from her except the car seat.

Kate set the seat on the floor and knelt down. "I can't believe you're still awake," she smiled, gently unbuckling her daughter.

She quietly pulled the car seat bar back and lifted her daughter out. She held her on her chest and rubbed her back.

"This is the longest she has been awake."

"How long?" Rick asked while he took bottles out and put them in the fridge.

"At least three hours."

"Wow. That's good though. It means she will sleep longer."

"She would pick the time to stay up when I'm going out," Kate laughed. "Wouldn't you?" she asked Alyvia.

Just as Kate was about to sit down, more knocking came from the door. Rick quickly opened it to be greeted with Lanie.

"Ready?" she asked, full of excitement.

"Uh… yeah," Kate hesitantly kissed her daughter before getting up. "She just ate an hour ago, so she should be good for awhile. I also changed her about an hour, so she might need a to be changed soon. And there are pajamas in the bag. If you need anything, call me."

"I will," Rick smiled, scooping Alyvia into his big arms.

"See you, baby girl," Kate kissed her daughter's forehead before walking over to Lanie.

"Let's go!" Lanie took her hand and pulled her.

"Bye," Kate laughed before letting her friend yank her out of the loft.

Rick closed the door and locked it. "We are going to have lots of fun and it doesn't matter if you're still a tiny thing."

"Dad, do we have-" Alexis stopped when she saw Alyvia in her dad's arms. "Aw, she's here," she walked over and rubbed the baby's little hand. "Hey Alyvia."

"Hello," Rick imitated a baby voice.

"Dad," Alexis rolled her eyes. "Can I hold her?"

"Of course," he handed his daughter the baby.

"She's light."

"I know."

"Really light."

"What should we do? I mean little babies don't do much yet, but we could still include her."

"Let's watch a movie," she answered, carrying Alyvia over to the couch with her dad not too far behind. "How come I never got a sibling?"

Rick coughed, caught off guard with this question. "I never found anyone else to want to have a kid with."

"Oh."

"And I'm kind of old now."

Alexis patted her dad's cheek. "We know."

"Hey!"

"Put in the movie, oldie."

…..

It has been only an hour and a half since they started clubbing. So far they've hit five clubs. And they have taken at least one or two shots at each of them. But now, while Kate was sitting at the bar, she could feel the alcohol starting to talk.

"What are you doing?" Lanie shouted, drinks in hand.

"I'm good," Kate nodded.

"You're tipsy!"

Kate threw her hand up. "Nah."

"Come on. Let's dance some of it off," Lanie dragged her friend onto the dance floor, catching many eyes of eager men.

They danced together for about five minutes when Kate's eyes fell on a mysterious man. He was sitting at the bar, in the seat she was just in, watching her. She couldn't make out all of his facial features, but he freaked her out. She decided to go see who this mystery man was.

The closer she got, the faster her heart pounded in her chest. It was so loud that she could hear it in her ears and it threw her off. When she was only a few strides away from where he sat, nobody was there. She quickly scanned the bar and found the figure walking toward the exit. Without thinking, she ran after him.

Once outside, the cold air hit her hard. She saw the man enter an alley. With her feet thinking before her mind, she ended up entering also. As she turned the corner, she was met with the mystery man from the bar.

"Hello… Katherine."

His voice made her almost collapse to the ground, but she put her hand on the cold brick wall instead. The voice… this voice…

"Yes, it is me," he spoke in a low, creepy tone.

Her head was spinning. How could this be happening? How could he be here?Without warning, she found herself throwing up. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and dry heaved when nothing else was coming out. With her mind racing and her vision blurring, she finally looked up at him.

"How's the baby?" he asked. "I hope to meet her… soon," he smiled, even though it was too dark to see, before running away.

She slid down the cold, damp, brick wall and curled herself into a tight ball. She didn't care if the ground was disgusting. She didn't care if she was in a dress. She was petrified and it was cold outside. The only thing that mattered was getting herself to breathe normal.

Moments later, Lanie came around the corner. She fell to the ground next to Kate.

"Honey? What happened?"

"My… my… Alyvia,"

"What about her?" Lanie questioned, using her phone for light. "Aw, man. You threw up."

"He… he… the… he's back."

Seconds later, Lanie was pulling her onto her feet. It was awkward for her to carry her friend who was inches taller than her, but she had to.

They hailed a cab and got in. She turned toward Kate and used tissues in her purse to try and clean her up.

"Where are… are we going?" Kate asked, trying to find the door.

"Relax, Honey. We are going to Castle's, okay? We are going to talk about what happened once we get there."

Twenty minutes later, Lanie was helping her friend down the hall toward Rick's loft. She gently knocked on the door and waited impatiently.

Rick ran to the door and unlocked it. When he opened it, he almost lost his balance. Seeing Kate with mascara running down her face, her hair a mess, and what he guessed was vomit on her dress, frightened him.

It took him a few moments, but he found his voice. "What the hell happened?" he asked, urging them inside.

"I found her outside in an alley like this," Lanie answered, letting Rick carry Kate toward the couch.

"Where is she?" Kate asked, frantically looking over the room.

"She's in my room, asleep," Rick answered, trying to get her to sit down.

She pushed his arms away and stumbled into his office. She stood in the doorway to his bedroom, holding onto the doorframe for support. The view of her daughter sleeping peacefully, on her stomach in the middle of the giant bed, made her feel more relieved. She finally walked into the room and carefully climbed next to her.

"Kate, she's okay," Lanie spoke, standing next to the bed.

"He said that he was going to see her soon," new tears fell out of Kate's eyes.

"Who said?" Rick asked.

She looked between him and her best friend, their outlines blurry from her tears. She couldn't even register being on Rick's bed right now or why they were looking at her with fear written all over their faces.

"Who said, Kate?" he tried again.

"Her biological father," she bit down on her lip to stop the loud cries from escaping.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Yes, this is the longest chapter I've ever done. I couldn't stop writing! And don't think meeting the man behind the incident is too fast, I still have a big story behind that.<em>

_Oh! And I actually went on my email for this account and saw how many people have this on their alerts. Thank you for reading this fic. It means a lot. I'd love to read your thoughts and reactions though, so I know what to include in upcoming chapters. ENOUGH OF ME. HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS._


	11. Chapter 11

The past month went by slower than any other month. Every night consisted of Kate having several nightmares that made her wake up sweating or crying. They caused her to walk her apartment, gun in hand, making sure everything was locked. This would sometimes go on for hours before she was certain nobody could get inside. And once she would lay back in bed, Alyvia woke up. So, she wasn't getting any sleep, the most being three hours.

She sat at her desk with her head in her hand, doing paperwork for the case they just closed. As she was writing the date, her head began to loll forward. Her eyes shut for a moment, but once the scene of her traumatic event started to play, she snapped up straight.

"Everything alright?" Ryan asked, walking away from the break room with two fresh coffees. He set one of them on her desk.

"Thanks," she mumbled, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Maybe you should ask Gates if you can take some time off. We all know you have tons of vacation days stacked up from the past few years."

"I can't."

"The coffee isn't doing anything for you. And if you get in trouble for falling asleep on your desk, it's all on you."

"Thanks for the love, Ryan," she forced a smile, getting one in return.

"So, how's Alyvia?" he asked, not wanting to get back to his own paperwork.

"She's getting big. She actually smiled for the first time yesterday."

"I bet that made you feel better."

"Yeah. It did," she replied, smiling at the pictures of her daughter on her desk.

"Ryan, what are you doing?" Esposito asked, taking his jacket off.

"Taking a break from writing."

"Let's get this done so we can go play the new Madden."

"Right. I forgot," Ryan glanced at Kate before returning to his desk.

She continued to work on the case in front of her, slowly losing her concentration. After every sentence she read, her eyes closed for brief moments. Eventually, they stayed shut and she fell asleep. That was until someone tapped her on the shoulder. The tapping frightened her so much, she almost fell off her chair.

"Whoa," Rick exclaimed as he jumped back, not sure on what just happened. "I didn't mean to scare you," he whispered.

"It's okay, Castle," she sighed and continued her paperwork.

"Aren't you gonna say hello?"

She slowly turned her chair toward him, letting her eyes trail down to his hand and what he held. She instantly felt horrible for not remembering that he watched Alyvia for her today.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't realize what time it was."

"That's okay," he replied, setting the carseat on the floor. "I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee," he smiled before walking away.

"Hey," Kate said in a gentle tone. "How are you, sweetie?" she immediately got a smile from Alyvia, which made her feel so much better. "Let me finish the last few pages then we can go home, okay?"

She turned back toward her desk and tried to write as fast as she could. When Rick sat down next to her, she could feel his eyes on her. It felt like he was looking into her mind and he knew what was going on. But he won't question her because he doesn't want to put her on the spot.

"What, Castle?" she asked before she had the chance to sweat.

"Nothing."

"Spit it out."

Rick opened his mouth to say something, but Alyvia let a frustrated cry. He silently thanked her for the perfect timing and watched Kate turn toward her daughter.

She unbuckled Alyvia and slowly lifted her up. "You're a little stinker," she kissed her daughter's cheek.

"Want me to hold her while you write?" Rick asked.

"It's fine. I'm used to holding her while doing various tasks around my place," she answered, making Alyvia sit on her lap with her head still supported. "See?"

"Alright. Since you're all good now... I'm gonna head back home."

"This might sound really bizarre," she wanted to smile at how fast Rick's head turned toward her." ...but would you drop me off at my house? My car is still being fixed."

"_Still_? They are definitely ripping you off."

Kate waved her free hand at him. "I doubt it."

"You said the heat wasn't working, right?" he got a nod. "Repairing that shouldn't take two days."

"True…"

"But I will bring you home," he smiled.

"Thanks. Let me just grab my… Oh, it's in the break room," she looked at her partner. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all," he happily took Alyvia from her and watched her walk into the break room.

When she returned, he already had Alyvia buckled in her seat. He was rocking it until she was next to him.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Yup. Do you want me to carry it?"

"Are the sidewalks slippery?"

"Yeah."

"Then you can carry it."

They smiled at each other and proceeded to the elevator. Before Kate hit the button, Gates called her name. She rolled her eyes and turned around.

"A word?" Gates questioned.

"Hold on, Castle," she glanced at him before walking into the Captain's office.

"Yes?"

"I'm not comfortable with a baby being in my precinct."

"She was here for only ten minutes…"

"Is he the father?"

Kate's eyes have never been this wide before. Her mouth was instantly dry and scratchy. She had to cough at least tie, giving her enough time to form words in her mind.

"No, he is definitely not her father," though she couldn't deny that she wished he was.

"Is this why you have been falling asleep at your desk?"

"Excuse me?"

"I know everything that goes on with my people. I was just told earlier today what happened."

"Oh," Kate nearly whispered.

"I don't like giving my best detectives time off, but you need to tell me if you need it."

"No, I'm fine."

"Do not lie to me, Detective."

Kate sighed, defeated. "Maybe a couple days so I can get sleep."

"I will see you in three days," Gates said as Kate began to walk out of the office. "And, Detective?"

"Yes?"

"You have a beautiful daughter."

"Thank you, sir."

Kate shut the door behind her and walked over to the elevator.

"Why are you smiling?"

"I think Gates is finally warming up to me… or maybe she's a mom too."

"Maybe?" Rick asked, stepping into the open elevator.

"I mean it's possible, but I don't know."

"You are confusing me, Detective."

"That's okay," she smiled.

About twenty minutes later, they were walking toward Kate's apartment. She went to unlock the door, but noticed it was never locked. She nodded her head toward Alyvia. Rick immediately picked up the seat and watched her take her gun from her waist.

The door opened to the messy apartment. Kate let out a breath of relief until she noticed lights flickering down the hall.

"Call Ryan and Esposito. Tell them to get here and fast. And do not leave my daughter's side."

"What's going on?" Rick asked, full of panic.

"Just trust me, okay?" she noticed the terror all over his face. "Stay in the living room."

He nodded and quickly walked into the living room. He sat on the couch, taking Alyvia out of her seat. When he looked up, Kate locked the door and gave him a nervous smile before going down the hall.

Her hands starting shaking when she noticed that the light was coming from her daughter's room. She bit her lip as she used her foot to push the door open, gripping her gun tighter. Once it was fully open, she almost dropped her gun. Before she knew it, she was on the ground with her hands clutching her head.

"Kate, they are he-" Rick stopped when he saw her on the ground. He stepped behind her, looking into the room.

The light in the room was flickering, making everything look a lot scarier than it should. The furniture was thrown across the room, like someone was looking for something. And the scariest part of all were the pictures that hung on strings from the ceiling. These pictures held Kate's most traumatic night. The night that she was raped.

Rick swallowed hard to get the lump out of his throat. How the hell could someone be this sick? Before he got more angry than concerned, he knelt down by Kate's side.

"Hey, Kate," he whispered, gently putting his hand on her shoulder.

"MAKE IT STOP!" she screamed, the whole night replaying over and over in her head.

He quickly pulled her away from the room and closed the door, making her sit up against the wall.

"Can you hear me?"

When she nodded her head, a huge wave of relief came over him. He didn't know what to say or do so, he hesitantly held her into his side.

…..

"Is she okay?" Rick asked as he finally stopped pacing.

"She's asleep," Jim answered.

Rick nodded and began to pace again.

"You can calm down, Rick. She's okay for now."

"I know, it's just…"

"You're angry and I understand. The only thing stopping me from going after that guy is that my daughter is a homicide detective."

Rick smiled, relaxing a little.

"You care about her. I can see that. But letting anger control you right now won't do you any good," Jim licked his lips before continuing. "And from what I hear, her team is kicking down the door of that sonuvabitch's house as we speak."

"But that won't repair the damage that he's done to her."

"No, it won't. _We_ will help repair that damage. It may takes days, months, years, and maybe even her entire life until she is completely healed. But we will help her every step of the way."

"I just feel so helpless when I see her like that," Rick sat on the couch, slouching into the seat.

"Where do you see your relationship with my daughter going?"

Rick immediately sat up straight. "Come again?"

"I see the way you look at her. I used to look at Johanna the same way."

"Umm…."

"I'm not trying to put you on the spot, Rick," Jim laughed. "I just want to know."

Rick rubbed his hands together, trying to buy himself more time to say the right answer. Part of him wanted to tell Mr. Beckett his true feelings and the other part of him wanted to say they were just friends.

He looked up. "I love your daughter. I love her more than any other woman I have ever met."

Jim sat down next to him, causing his nerves to go on end. He placed his hand on Rick's shoulder.

"Never stop loving her, Rick. You want her to fall in love with you?" he leaned in closer when Rick nodded. "She already has."

"What?"

"She has for awhile, Rick."

"Why are you telling me this? I mean why now?"

"You deserve to know and I don't want you to give up on her."

"I never will… Jim."

* * *

><p><em>AN: <strong>Thoughts?<strong>_

_I also plan to wrap this up in the next few chapters because I want to start a new idea I have for an AU fic._


	12. Chapter 12

_AN: I know this is a super short chapter, but I keep hitting dead ends with this fic and it's been awhile._

* * *

><p>"You told me to come here?" Rick asked the boys before he reached their desk.<p>

"Yeah," Ryan looked at his partner, making sure it was okay. "He won't speak. The only thing he said was that he wanted Katherine to question him."

"You've got to be kidding me. You know we can't put her in there. He should know that for crying out loud!"

"We know, bro," Esposito replied with his head down.

Rick began pacing in front of them, covering his face with his hands. Every ounce of anger he ever had was now flowing hot through his veins. There was no way he could get rid of it without confronting the unnamed bastard himself. Before he could think reasonably, he was heading toward lockup.

"Whoa, Castle. Wait," Esposito yelled, getting out of his seat to chase him. He reached Rick right before turned the corner and grabbed his shoulder. "We want to do the same thing you do, bro."

Rick clenched his hands into fists. He threw them into his pockets and turned toward Esposito.

"We didn't call you here so you could take him out. We could have done that ourselves."

"We called you because we need your help telling Beckett about this," Ryan said, walking next to Esposito.

"I can't tell her this. Anything but this."

"You know how to handle her when she breaks down. It would be better if you did," Ryan replied.

"Fine. I will tell her… just not now," Rick turned on his heel and headed toward the elevator. "I'll tell her when I think it's time."

"Castle, that could be years," Esposito yelled after him.

…..

"Dad?" Alexis yelled as she walked into the loft.

It was 7pm and she was surprised that there wasn't dinner already made. Her dad usually makes sure there's dinner made when he knows she's going to be late. She found this really strange.

She walked toward his office and peaked her head through. Her dad had his head on his desk, holding onto a big glass of, what she guessed was, alcohol. He still had his pajamas on from this morning and it didn't look like he showered at all.

"Dad…?" she asked nervously.

He slowly lifted his head up and smiled at her. He waved for her to come toward him. When she did, he wrapped his arms around her in a big bear hug.

"Dad, how long have you been drinking?"

"Not long."

"And why aren't you dressed?"

"I didn't feel like doing anything today."

"Come on," she sat on his desk. "What's going on?"

"The guy wants to speak with Kate. The guys want me to tell her about it and… I can't."

"You should tell her, Dad. It's not like she's going to run in there and confront him. And if she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to."

"I know, Pumpkin. It's just… she's been doing good the past two days. I really don't want her spiraling down."

"Look at you," she took the cup from him. "You're spiraling down too and it's only because you want to protect her."

"Only?"

"We all know you have a thing for Beckett, Dad. It's really obvious that you want to protect her from getting hurt, but maybe you should tell her. Will it hurt her? Possibly, but she needs to know what's going on. She deserves to know. You know that."

"I do…"

"So, stop drinking, get cleaned up, and pull yourself together for crying out loud," she smiled.

"Okay. I'll go shower and make dinner for us. I'll tell her tomorrow."

"No. I'll whip us up some of my famous mac 'n' cheese."

"You sure?"

"You look like you need it."

He pulled his daughter in for another tight hug. She's always so smart and he never understands where it comes from, but he's glad she always knows what to say.

"Thanks, Pumpkin."

"No problem."

…..

Small knocks were coming from the apartment door. Kate thought it was someone else's door being knocked on so, she continued her workout. She absolutely hated what her pregnancy did to her. Never in her life did she image herself to have this much body fat.

The knocking didn't stop. Instead it got a lot louder. She sighed and dropped down from the bar. She grabbed her towel on the way to the door. Immediately upon seeing Rick through the door, she frantically tried to get rid of the sweat. Once she opened the door, a big whiff of coffee hit her nose.

"Hey," she said breathlessly.

"Were you…"

"Trying to work this weight off? Yes," she walked back into her apartment. "What's up?"

"Nothing much. Thought I'd visit you since Alexis and mother are shopping. Where's Alyvia?"

"She's with my dad for the day. He wanted to spend time with her," she smiled.

"There's something I need to tell you."

The serious tone in his voice made Kate's throat go dry. She hesitantly took the coffee out of his hand.

"Should I sit?" she nervously asked.

"That might be a good idea."

They both sat down next to each other on the couch. She slowly faced him and tried to figure out what was going on.

"H-h-he's asking for you."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thoughts?<em>


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